To the single mothers

*To the Single Mothers*
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1.Be confident; Many men are very skeptical about fertility
status of many ladies these days so as a single mum you should
be proud of yourself that you are fertile and capable of
procreating so carry yourself with dignity and be proud of
yourself.
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2.Look sexy: don't feel because you have given birth you are not as others, infact you are verified and better.
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3.Be selective: don't let anybody make you feel inferior or date you out of pity because you are better than those ladies who are already shapeless because of bad lifestyle.
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4.Don't discuss your child excessively: I have heard many
single mothers say stuffs like..a man who will want me must
want my child..
Well no man will ask you to forget your child but most guys are
not interested in hearing you sing about the child,remember its
not his child so in as much as a mother's love towards her child
is strong,please try to avoid making it a subject matter even if
the man also has his own children. Discussing your child
excessively will take the shine off the affair.
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5.Be in touch but don't take up the responsibility: This is
one big mistake single mothers do. Except the man absconds or
his family bluntly refuses to accept the child,DON'T EVER
TAKE UP THE RESPONSIBILITY OF TAKING CARE OF
THE CHILD.
In most cases,the baby daddy and his family are interested in the
baby but not interested in the mother so many times these ladies
usually hold on to the child because to them "if you don't want
me,you can't have my child"
No matter the stress you go through in bringing the child up,you
can never erase the paternity of the child and a day will likely
come when the child will look for the dad or vise versa and when
the day comes, just one prostration and I am sorry from the dad
will melt the pains of neglect of many years so why insist on
taking care of a child of a man who may come back to claim his
biological child.
Please give the child to the father's family but be in touch,after-
all nobody in this world can contest the maternity of the
child. Abeg free yourself because its a turn off for some Amateur guys when
they want to woo a cutie and discover that the baby you are with
is actually yours...its better to know latter.
Or better still give the child to a family member of yours and be
free to rediscover yourself.
.
6. Be financially independent: Please understand that many
men these days are struggling and it will be very unrealistic for
you to expect another man to automatically take up another
man's responsibility.
Yes some men will not mind to take care of you and your child
or children but try to be financially independent in the little way
you can so that while you expect some form of financial succor
from any man that comes into your life,you will not stress him
too much by wanting him to provide for a child who is not his.
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7.Don't be a dumping ground: Many ladies have been
enmeshed with self pity and condemnation that they just rush
into any affair with guys who they will ordinarily never date all
because they see themselves as after one as they call it.
There is a saying for single mothers in my dialect "Imu Nwa na Ulo abughi Oria" meaning having a child out of wedlock is not a disease.
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8. Be bold,and never allow any man love you out of pity or
take advantage of you.
Hope this helps.
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~Dee Sammy